HELP! I didn't spank my daughter, she's now 14 and a spoiled brat. Out of control. I am at a loss.?

I don't know if it was the way I parented her when she was little or what, that's really irrelevant now, I need to know what to do to help her. I can't afford councelling. she screams at me her father and her siblings. She punches and kicks the walls. She is nice to other people, just not us. If I tell her she can't do something, like use the phone, she throws a fit. I tell her to go to her room and she refuses, threatens to run away or tell people I hit her so they will take her away, which is a lie I do not hit her, she is just manipulating me. I had her hair highlighted and a french manicure before school starts and she doesn't appreciate anything I do. She is selfish and hates me. I love her even though she treats me this way and only want her to start behaving. The constant commotion from her upsets my other children and her dad wants to send her to a childrens home. I don't think a parent can send there kid to one though.





What would you do?HELP! I didn't spank my daughter, she's now 14 and a spoiled brat. Out of control. I am at a loss.?
She is still in your house and she's 14 you can beat her as* until she 18 she in your house she abound by your rules. No but whooping more attitude teach that girl a lesson with a belt





Hope this helps =]HELP! I didn't spank my daughter, she's now 14 and a spoiled brat. Out of control. I am at a loss.?
beating your daughter is only going to make her hate you more and then she would have legal grounds to call the cops and social services to report you for child abuse.





even if you can't send her to a home, maybe you should see if she could live with relatives for a while. someone who doesn't believe in giving her the extras like hair and manicures if she doesn't deserve them.
I'd see if you could send her to a home for a few weeks so she can see what it's like so she learns to appreciate what she's got. Also, she may need therapy. If you have health insurance, you more than likely also have mental health insurance covered under that.
well im 14 right now too but :





if i were her mom i would let her know who's boss, if she needs it, kick her azz, but also being 14 is a very hard time for a girl, with all that pressure at school with the other girls and just hanging out with friends
watch this and u will know





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzKHQX59W鈥?/a>
tack a way Hare Mob phone the Tv the PC the internet stop give hare money mack hare life not good to live my mum did it to me





or **CALL the cops** (last resort)
send her to the army. or take away all her **** n let her go to school naked.
I agree with boot camp. Whip her into shape!
boot camp
Let her read all the answers! lol i just earned 2 points!
I think that she will continue her bad behavior until she is shown that is will not be tollerated. Maybe she needs to be smacked or grounded or have everything she loves taken away (phone, tv, etc.) As long as her actions are not reciprocated with punishment, she will continue to be bad.





They have these programs at most jails/prisons called Scared Straight. They take your unruly teen for the day and let her spend some time with inmates that show her what her actions will lead to if she doesn't take a step in the right direction. I've heard they work wonders.





If all else fails...beat her little ***! Even if she calls the cops, they are more understanding then you think.





Good luck!
It's not a question of affording counseling or not. You and she need to get professional help so that this problem can be dealt with in some reasonable and rational way. The fact that you did not spank your daughter when she was a child has nothing to do with the way she is behaving now. Spanking doesn't really achieve much in the long run.





Of course, it would help matters a great deal if you were to ask your daughter why she is so angry all the time and why she takes it out on you.
It would seem, sadly, that she has missed the 12 years of teaching, nurturing, etc. that you and your church/synagogue has provided her.





And, of course, she is a teenager ... but seemingly she is a very rebellious teen.





Likely you are obligated to provide shelter, food, and clothing.


Shelter -- so the rain and snow doesn't get in her room


food -- adequate and nourishing, but not necessary what she WANTS


clothing -- decent clothing, generic clothing. Not necessarily the latest 'fashion' or the expensive clothes.





Anything more that she wants, she can ';work for it'; [cell phones, ipods, etc., etc.,] or by her ';good'; attitude she can ';earn'; it [favorite desserts, occasional use of the family's television, etc.]


.
you need to talk to her school councelor about getting a referal to some professional help first of all. second of all...you do not have to spank her, but if I told her to go to her room and she refused I would drag her there by her ear. I have a son, and he knows when momma says something your reply yes mam, not because I spank him but because I put the fear of God in him. if she doesnt appreciate the things you do, DO NOT DO THEM. you will be suprised how much she will appreciate you when you make her find out what life would be like with out you. If she still throws her tantrum, and will not be have, take things away....I once emptied my sons entire room for three days and he slept in a sleeping bag on the floor until he EARNED his bed back...and slowly, through respecting me, and the things I had given him, he earned everything back. you have to be TOUGH, CONSISTANT, and IN CONTROL





if you say she can not....then you follow through


if you say you are going to send her to her room....you do it, you do NOT give warnings.





now....when she threatens to call the police....or child welfare....look up the number and give it to her....then hand her the phone, and let her know that if she feels its that bad then she can call...





if all else fails, you can try boot camp or a disciplinary school.





you need to let her know that your house is not a democracy, it is a dictatorship....and like China....she will get what her government(you) gives her. there are no other options.
I think unfortunetnly it is completely normal.





I went through a similar phase when I was a teen.





Right now, my sister is 15 and she treats my mother HORRIBLY! I mean my mother does EVERYTHING for her, which she can't afford already, and the poor woman not only doesn't get any respect she gets no thanks. It seems that your situation and my sisters (and my situation once) are competely alike.





It is all about control. She's getting older and less controllable, and that makes the parent want to control them more. So both parties fight for control and it's really just a giant vicious circle.





Eventually I grew out of it and realized my mum only wanted the best for me. We are now waiting for my sister to outgrow it.






spanking a child is awful! It would not help....but it sounds like she has problems, with you and your family at least, and i fel bad for you, but I do not have much advice...do not hurt her, but cease buying or doing nice things for her, and she will miss those things, and learn to appreciate them. Just tell her you do care about her, talk to her too...good luck